Trashy Dick

Dear Roommate,

Trash Can, Roommate... Roommate, Trash Can. I'm glad you two have finally met. Now, share your shit with it and take it out every once it a while, make it feel special.

Oh, your smoking in the apartment is awesome, btw-- Keep it up. You smoke two packs a day (I thought that only happened in the movies) and the ash tray is always full, no matter how often I (ME! MYSELF! I!) take it out... really adds to the look we're going for in the living room.

Actually, right now, as I type this, I smell smoke. And you're not smoking. It's like the gift that keeps on giving.

Thanks.

Dick.