tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23592154753021348102024-03-04T22:11:25.478-08:00MY ROOMMATE IS SUCH A DICK!Dishes left in the sink? Food eaten without permission? Toilets not being flushed? Bitch about it here...hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.comBlogger186125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-70585895497788495342017-10-30T21:35:00.004-07:002017-10-30T21:35:48.603-07:00This Roommate Don't Give a Shit<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Roommate,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I truly cannot thank you enough for the call I received from “Alex in Kappa Sig” explaining how you were in dire need of assistance, forcing me take a $60 Uber back to campus during the best Mardi Gras parade. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">After placing your ass directly on the toilet per your request, you truly iced the cake by dropping this fat deuce. I never thought you could be this shitty. I was wrong.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Eat more Raisin Bran before you shit where I shower! </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2dLlVZaIu-rSJqhVZus6FAeFApUQ6v6Yz3yUk-zwdmQWlibw6RwN2DuPrTPbBzvaJAqaYS60VntNiU1p1YRYQXJ4dT7B0ZWQ3oYjWm-fGydbHUJ2B6bnrLHnInze4QY3KFR0ysOQEwoEp/s1600/unnamed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="880" data-original-width="750" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2dLlVZaIu-rSJqhVZus6FAeFApUQ6v6Yz3yUk-zwdmQWlibw6RwN2DuPrTPbBzvaJAqaYS60VntNiU1p1YRYQXJ4dT7B0ZWQ3oYjWm-fGydbHUJ2B6bnrLHnInze4QY3KFR0ysOQEwoEp/s400/unnamed.jpg" width="340" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-42058373009329996482014-09-17T12:57:00.000-07:002014-09-17T13:00:32.130-07:00A Psycho-tic Roommate <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVQblCatZsKP7YlxR-POSc2chNS5xSNxovOuUt8LkS69FCIBWTJ0tKrFKdCkUCgrtOYIFqsq4EN9gqT-bMy5yOHXroYpAhb3XFcn2nBkhNZi50O79GPV9G5KGqDujg86fcXurxakPLueWT/s1600/Psycho.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVQblCatZsKP7YlxR-POSc2chNS5xSNxovOuUt8LkS69FCIBWTJ0tKrFKdCkUCgrtOYIFqsq4EN9gqT-bMy5yOHXroYpAhb3XFcn2nBkhNZi50O79GPV9G5KGqDujg86fcXurxakPLueWT/s1600/Psycho.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Dear creepy 50 year-old roommate,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">I'm not your mommy. Stop telling me that you like it when I wear skirts and wear my hair a certain way, both like your dead mother did. Lots of women wear skirts and yes, I need a new haircut asap, but I'm not your mommy, you creep. And no, my food is not disg</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">usting because it's not like your dead mother's. You're just a creep.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Get a therapist,</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Your moving-out-asap-and-before-</span><wbr style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"></wbr><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">you-skin-me-alive-to-wear-my-</span><wbr style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"></wbr><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">skin roommate</span>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-29544544709851557802014-07-25T12:20:00.000-07:002014-07-26T13:12:59.697-07:00DICK OF THE WEEK!!! A Possessive Dick<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/Rx74J6zb2hI/AAAAAAAAAR8/M_JwBSCyKnQ/s1600-h/FRIDGE.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/Rx74J6zb2hI/AAAAAAAAAR8/M_JwBSCyKnQ/s320/FRIDGE.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124806275281705490" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; font-size: 130%;">Dear Roommate,<br /><br />OK, I get it...the red bull and margarita mix is MINE, and the rest is YOURS. You don't have to be a dick about it. </span>hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-41146994482701178502014-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:002014-07-26T13:15:44.906-07:00Good, Good, Vibrations<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RzC5m80PhGI/AAAAAAAAAXA/eOFiGb2p6AE/s1600-h/DILD+1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RzC5m80PhGI/AAAAAAAAAXA/eOFiGb2p6AE/s320/DILD+1.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129804054386410594" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RzC5nc0PhHI/AAAAAAAAAXI/HTUf7EY5Keo/s1600-h/DILD+2+.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RzC5nc0PhHI/AAAAAAAAAXI/HTUf7EY5Keo/s320/DILD+2+.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129804062976345202" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dear Roommate,<br /><br />Oh my god! Oh my god! What were you possibly thinking?? Did it really seem alright for you to clean "that" in there. You are a filthy human being. You're buying us all new plates and silverware!! I mean...FILTHY!!</span>hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-27891012064915316582014-07-25T04:30:00.002-07:002014-07-26T13:11:47.607-07:00This Bitch is a Dick<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RzFrps0PhKI/AAAAAAAAAXg/EX767N0MywM/s1600-h/Parker.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RzFrps0PhKI/AAAAAAAAAXg/EX767N0MywM/s320/Parker.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5129999814700795042" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dear Roomate,<br /><br />Thanks for letting your dog eat my $210 shoes. Bitch.</span>hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-3526355237012113922014-07-25T04:30:00.001-07:002014-07-26T13:06:26.380-07:00Smokey the Bear says your roommate is a dick<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvIPKbXM6LI/AAAAAAAAABU/en0QumM9H30/s1600-h/smoke.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvIPKbXM6LI/AAAAAAAAABU/en0QumM9H30/s320/smoke.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112165198837115058" style="cursor: hand; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;" /></a><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;">Dear Roommate,</span></div>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;"></span></div>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;">3:30 am + smoke machine + yelling fire = one dick roommate.</span></div>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;"></span></div>
<br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;">BTW - I blew my interview. Good luck getting my rent.</span></div>
hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-77154379236159154352014-07-25T04:30:00.000-07:002014-07-26T13:05:16.131-07:00Dick Diesel<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvglBr_2KaI/AAAAAAAAAEs/3fkMsOvoEjc/s1600-h/flexing.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvglBr_2KaI/AAAAAAAAAEs/3fkMsOvoEjc/s320/flexing.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113878087799810466" style="cursor: hand; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;" /></a><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;">Dear Roommate,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: 130%;">Puh-lease stop flexing everytime you take a photo with our crew. We get it. You go to the gym. We're all really impressed. I'm gonna start photoshopping you out if you don't stop.</span></div>
hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-17620747310349161862014-07-23T12:30:00.000-07:002014-07-23T12:37:33.342-07:00DICK ROOMMATE HALL OF FAME: An Untidy Whitey<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvILrrXM6JI/AAAAAAAAABE/kBTotEQKt5w/s1600-h/Dinsky.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvILrrXM6JI/AAAAAAAAABE/kBTotEQKt5w/s320/Dinsky.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112161372021254290" style="float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;" /></a><br />
<div style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">
<span style="font-size: 130%;">Dear Roommate,</span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">
<span style="font-size: 130%;">Get a job. All you do is play videogames in your underwear. I don't care if you are my brother. I'm telling mom.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">
<span style="font-size: 130%;"></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">
<span style="font-size: 130%;">Your Brother.</span></div>
hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-37514191488733984592014-07-23T12:26:00.000-07:002014-07-23T12:26:09.380-07:00A "BOUNTY" OF DICKS<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dear (soon to be) Ex-Roommate,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">There's a certain amount of laziness that I can deal with. Dishes in the sink… fine. Forgetting to replace the toilet paper… it happens. Ev</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;">en leaving your moldy food in the fridge… it was pushed all the way in the back. But what I cannot and will not stand for is the complete lack of consideration for others as well as the blatant disregard for what is known as common human decency! Who does this?!!! If I had to choose something to sum up our entire relationship as friends and roommates, it would have to be this photograph. You knew it was wrong yet you continued to tear and tear even though you could have gone back at any moment to remedy the situation. Good luck in your new apartment and your new life. Just know that I won't be there to straighten out your messes any longer.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs_ycN99f-mS67NNXm0ereBNxIHxdsLsrv6r9y0BVYo4Ftof2quJa1S7Zv_hKtilv18_7xaPwAGl2GTXJDkIYw-9lvdFC-AJJefKnsiMpc8Xk9fW-5eUYgy_jxK-d6KIeW2OxO6Te9Ph1_/s1600/papertowel.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs_ycN99f-mS67NNXm0ereBNxIHxdsLsrv6r9y0BVYo4Ftof2quJa1S7Zv_hKtilv18_7xaPwAGl2GTXJDkIYw-9lvdFC-AJJefKnsiMpc8Xk9fW-5eUYgy_jxK-d6KIeW2OxO6Te9Ph1_/s1600/papertowel.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><br /></span>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-85565584634532525312014-07-23T12:15:00.001-07:002014-07-23T12:16:19.207-07:00A "trying to get you assaulted by random foreign guy" Dick <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Roommate,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Listing the apartment on Airbnb without my permission, then informing me that a strange man would be coming into the house while you were out of town, was absolutely not cool. I'm in a foreign country, can't speak the language very well, and am female in a society where this is a distinct disadvantage. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">REALLY not cool.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't wait to report your ass to the landlord. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;">-Anonymous</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2HoDjebJtebjbRiZqvgdSOCKsp1f1NzCjGJwPwj3yAwW6-8oYOFiAmpuUI2xMxxxXb-HvGrb7DLjjea4tLMwhjTckQBuPRIPQNN2G-jK2drU48r_NwuX3WVK7wnVd2sxPKsc3vSTwDVTq/s1600/INTRUDER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2HoDjebJtebjbRiZqvgdSOCKsp1f1NzCjGJwPwj3yAwW6-8oYOFiAmpuUI2xMxxxXb-HvGrb7DLjjea4tLMwhjTckQBuPRIPQNN2G-jK2drU48r_NwuX3WVK7wnVd2sxPKsc3vSTwDVTq/s1600/INTRUDER.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-51004396125712898552014-07-22T21:42:00.000-07:002014-07-26T13:18:10.292-07:00Thank God He Didn't Leave His Dog<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/R4cDv8nwGqI/AAAAAAAAAes/qA5kZhoB1sw/s1600-h/PLANT.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/R4cDv8nwGqI/AAAAAAAAAes/qA5kZhoB1sw/s320/PLANT.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5154092420810414754" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dear Roommate,<br /><br />Thanks for watering the plant while I was away on Christmas vacation.</span>hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-39765477220758407362013-08-10T18:34:00.001-07:002014-07-23T12:16:54.885-07:00FAKE FARTING DICK <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">DEAR ROOMMATE - </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">NOT SURE WHAT'S MORE EMBARRASSING, THE FACT THAT YOU PRANKED ME WHILE I HAD MY DATE OVER...OR EXPLAINING WHY I LIVED WITH SOMEONE WHO OWNS A FART MACHINE. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">BTW, PERFECT TIMING...IT WENT OFF JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO GO DOWN ON ME. THANKS. YOU OWE ME A PRE MED STUDENT</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitdSq4cyN2wODTlsrz_8SmineaTgeCF844UdZ1OmNuY3uic6pUjkgLQBDTxEM97goDda_isOTX2KzGrNxtKcUiSgB9reMFd9ENxPvGfDD2HfYalcDEVupomQxQ9ntrzlk9BljeEdMYmIxq/s1600/FART+MACHINE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitdSq4cyN2wODTlsrz_8SmineaTgeCF844UdZ1OmNuY3uic6pUjkgLQBDTxEM97goDda_isOTX2KzGrNxtKcUiSgB9reMFd9ENxPvGfDD2HfYalcDEVupomQxQ9ntrzlk9BljeEdMYmIxq/s640/FART+MACHINE.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-28827655161497535792013-08-10T18:24:00.002-07:002013-08-10T18:26:44.452-07:00DIVORCED DICKS <span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Dear Roommates:</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">The two of you have turned into the utterly lazy drunks since your wedding October 2012. Which is when you also stopped living like roommates and started living like two dirty hamsters in a cage and when approached about the situation you ignored your other roommates requests about cleaning up after yourselves. We got sick of cleaning up after you, and caring for you like children. So this is what has become of your living area in the upstairs portion of the house we share. I hope your happy with your selves. Oh and we recently found out that your sleeping in separate rooms, I guess divorce is in the future? Congrats! </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sincerely,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;" /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b>Your (soon to be ex) roommates</b></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrfB1EdMpg573ci8mR-rB_AyR05pxaTGpfCAN5-3qsYC04l3_zRfJb16eNNElEFbxILrP1YeHGR5aZrCKbvR52EOwXG-ZqKwLte9ssCkD0csku82JWrd9p080QFxw0TLdqqu_YhfGspWSx/s1600/MESSY+ROOM+1+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrfB1EdMpg573ci8mR-rB_AyR05pxaTGpfCAN5-3qsYC04l3_zRfJb16eNNElEFbxILrP1YeHGR5aZrCKbvR52EOwXG-ZqKwLte9ssCkD0csku82JWrd9p080QFxw0TLdqqu_YhfGspWSx/s640/MESSY+ROOM+1+.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-8888328979335934442012-07-30T14:45:00.000-07:002012-07-31T18:08:32.415-07:00MY ROOMMATE IS AN A$$ CLOWN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/0wsKwGY5pe4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com266tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-87273474084363141922012-03-13T11:29:00.003-07:002012-03-13T11:33:42.594-07:00A High Calorie Dick<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizZDbolkZQrKPJgJtIa6wRPM1PcFZnqLc7xzpwP28HBzwwQnwJ1r8u3-6jOubS0OXHkWcso42edvUCa2oO8L6rOWJpny1MeSzrOg0U-P-XNUXI6K-zFVOSAzvVNEDgyUi8Xy0ZEA37NUkU/s1600/cookies.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizZDbolkZQrKPJgJtIa6wRPM1PcFZnqLc7xzpwP28HBzwwQnwJ1r8u3-6jOubS0OXHkWcso42edvUCa2oO8L6rOWJpny1MeSzrOg0U-P-XNUXI6K-zFVOSAzvVNEDgyUi8Xy0ZEA37NUkU/s320/cookies.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719451463902714994" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;"><b>Dear Roommate,</b></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;"><b>Our new years resolution was to drop twenty pounds each. Why would you do this to us?</b></span></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-12634733002846396262012-03-13T11:24:00.002-07:002012-03-13T11:26:32.286-07:00Bedroom Borrowing Dick<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQCKtB55QMv6_oE74L5ZW6czPeR8pKe07JjI0EgypBgiGv_4KhAydLDYWJ4fR_McNKqeaEBuw2OHj7X86dpzoZ-qLpW_ewZo-XMI8kVIFVimd29vThJYGLPuftI6rCPGAsh1fMnuzBbXa8/s1600/bedroom+2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQCKtB55QMv6_oE74L5ZW6czPeR8pKe07JjI0EgypBgiGv_4KhAydLDYWJ4fR_McNKqeaEBuw2OHj7X86dpzoZ-qLpW_ewZo-XMI8kVIFVimd29vThJYGLPuftI6rCPGAsh1fMnuzBbXa8/s320/bedroom+2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719449608622213202" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;" >Dear Roommate,</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;color:#222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;" ></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:130%;" >Yes I was away for one weekend. And yes, I said your cousin can stay in room. And yes u owe me an explantion as to what the hell happened! </span></div></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-72855192465839557022012-03-13T11:19:00.001-07:002012-03-13T11:24:07.099-07:00This Dick Ain't Got One<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqlm1JO_JrVkNG9_5KhATwdANasqibDEDcVAPBrEI334Lgq-CFRLizEXrobJa_RxYC53fMdEhfBvb8dyk5o26C0Oarsapr-itifSaqjBx9v1wRDjPUGITmCfWpre7fng1xm3p0caco4hY/s1600/photo+1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqlm1JO_JrVkNG9_5KhATwdANasqibDEDcVAPBrEI334Lgq-CFRLizEXrobJa_RxYC53fMdEhfBvb8dyk5o26C0Oarsapr-itifSaqjBx9v1wRDjPUGITmCfWpre7fng1xm3p0caco4hY/s320/photo+1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719449010730047026" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;">Note to self: Never get a girl roommate again. Ever.</span></span>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-37956620745216894692012-03-01T09:50:00.000-08:002012-03-01T09:56:39.547-08:00DICK ROOMMATE HALL OF FAME: Surprisingly the one with the cock isn't the dick<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvINFrXM6KI/AAAAAAAAABM/PqFTsNOmdCo/s1600-h/black+and+white.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112162918209480866" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pRS08ixfA7w/RvINFrXM6KI/AAAAAAAAABM/PqFTsNOmdCo/s320/black+and+white.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;">Dear Roommate,</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size:130%;">Hey, thanks for the surprise you left for me when I brought my parents home during graduation weekend. I've never been happier to move out of the apartment.<br /></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;">P.S. you can keep the couch.</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size:130%;">P.S.S. and where did you find that scrappy looking white boy???</span></div>hihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17160542979841041691noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-88384152002537971512012-02-29T09:41:00.002-08:002012-02-29T09:46:43.933-08:00A DICK SHOE-MATE<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeD4I3rrXw-3YruT5OCyJX2ooioRBTxNFBr7YCfktg96qnczB5VGZc47Os6kUpfgL2Rjar6VvJ9aC4IraM0VdOSrf1cboObgUqmBvacOdxhlSnyrXzMuwU8sKQtvO9fOc7_5g74426ha-5/s1600/shoes.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeD4I3rrXw-3YruT5OCyJX2ooioRBTxNFBr7YCfktg96qnczB5VGZc47Os6kUpfgL2Rjar6VvJ9aC4IraM0VdOSrf1cboObgUqmBvacOdxhlSnyrXzMuwU8sKQtvO9fOc7_5g74426ha-5/s320/shoes.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714615435112084674" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Yo!<br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Don't be telling me you're strapped for cash and can't be throwing in on the electric bill --- I know you buy new kicks EVERY weekend. Quit being a bitch. Either start saving some dough or start selling on E-Bay. </span></div><div><br /></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-21269658067808081332012-02-28T16:08:00.001-08:002012-02-28T16:09:35.305-08:00ROOMMATE REVENGE OF THE WEEK<embed src="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/player.swf" allowscriptaccess="always" flashvars="id1=21415" wmode="opaque" width="567" height="345" allowfullscreen="true"></embed>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-40821439703622709792012-02-28T12:10:00.002-08:002012-02-28T12:15:19.590-08:00Dick, Where's My Car?!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh4XyFqWh-AEd-qFhyAC0AjtpRcVNxJLDPf_jWbxuAPbtdczwSVBDaCIJ59_352Kv_lKJEwTjrEOxZfB6RmQ23lAHa9OrMDbsJS8MH69NQMj-E3sS17T00yonNxp8cGW3MmTKZDpdRZko_/s1600/dude_wheres_my_car_profilelarge.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh4XyFqWh-AEd-qFhyAC0AjtpRcVNxJLDPf_jWbxuAPbtdczwSVBDaCIJ59_352Kv_lKJEwTjrEOxZfB6RmQ23lAHa9OrMDbsJS8MH69NQMj-E3sS17T00yonNxp8cGW3MmTKZDpdRZko_/s320/dude_wheres_my_car_profilelarge.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714282570420743010" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Dear Dick Roommate, </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><div>I always explain to people that living with you is like living with the king of the world. You can do no wrong and everything and I mean EVERYTHING is all about you. </div><div><br /></div><div>I remember that I moved in while you were unemployed and piled up a debt of over $2000. Being the 15 year friend that I am, I told you that there was no debt and to buy yourself a car. WHERE IS YOUR CAR DUDE!? This is also AFTER my parents paid for your legal services to keep you from jail time. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now I'm unemployed and you have use of <strong>MY</strong> car. Under the 1 and only 1 condition (not even keep the car clean) that you CALL me when your going to be late in case I need the car or to make plans. This is the 5th fucking time you are more than 3 hours late. I needed the car HOURS ago for an EMERGENCY dental appointment (ow, and FUCK). Good thing I have a couple decent friends, one of them got me there. I really hope your OK (and my car also) but if your not, I may beat your ass anyway. I tried calling you on your phone but you left it here. </div><div><br /></div><div>I think to start with there will be some car restrictions: <strong>You will not drive it.</strong> I will drive you. $10 ride to work and $20 ride from work. In the rare case that I cannot do this, I feel its reasonable to charge you $100 if your more than 1 hr late without a call. PER TIME. Or get your own fucking car. </div><div><br /></div><div>On the list of not cool things you have done is get extremely drunk at the bar we were at and when I felt it was time to go. You refused. So I asked my friends to give you a ride home. So after you get home you decide to kick in my door (doors still broken) and when I barricaded it (with my sofa) you decided to turn off every breaker in the house. (IT WAS COLD THAT NIGHT) because I didn't leave when you wanted to.This is only one "for instance" PLEASE DO NOT DRINK ANY MORE (or bug me about my drinking, you have no right)</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;color:#222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><div>F*&# you,</div><div><br /></div><div>LIVID Roommate</div><div><br /></div><div>PS I don't have a picture of my car because its NOT THERE!</div></span></span></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-24405191363657466202012-02-28T11:57:00.005-08:002012-02-28T12:07:39.518-08:00A Dick-Poster<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSPgjeoYVbyXRKj6nA1xtyLn0wmvHRw37cnjkplWNqi6Dgw6swNhTJk6kZRj7AOOrroiiKmQstPeg6yTwweee8xdhzYVXqPSFgCTVzeLoF4V7kKzdJ5OOtZtI8-fWdHoUaUHw7rEJt9pL6/s1600/FLUTE.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 293px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSPgjeoYVbyXRKj6nA1xtyLn0wmvHRw37cnjkplWNqi6Dgw6swNhTJk6kZRj7AOOrroiiKmQstPeg6yTwweee8xdhzYVXqPSFgCTVzeLoF4V7kKzdJ5OOtZtI8-fWdHoUaUHw7rEJt9pL6/s320/FLUTE.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714279961271423874" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;"><div face="'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif" size="12pt">Dear Dick Roomate,</div><div face="'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif" size="12pt"><br />(Thank God you aren't actually a ROOMmate... I'd rather live in the streets than sharing a ROOM with you!) </div><div face="'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif" size="12pt"><br /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;">You hacked into my boyfriend's computer while we were away and when found out, instead of saying "Sorry", you said, "If I didn't guess your password in the first time round, I wouldn't have continued to use it! I was just using your computer to scan and print some pictures!" Hello??? Did anyone say you were allowed to "borrow" his computer and his printer when you wanted it? And you certainly did NOT just use the scanner and printer but were browsing his Facebook messages, using Spotify and your own Facebook. And you're shocked how we found out? If only you had a brain to remember to at least log yourself off Facebook after using others' computers (and we're not asking you to delete the browsing history!!). And you still do all this after you've got it so full of viruses that every single programme decided not to function!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;"><div style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; ">Attached is a beautiful picture of your Highness, NOT (!!!!!) Ha, it makes me want to puke each time I receive a letter from the Chocolate Club addressed to "Lady (your surname)" Seriously, who do you think you are!? </div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;"><br /></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;">Stop being such an ass and keep your hands off our things!! But you MAY keep the makeup that you've stolen from MY drawer, you lowly thuggish creature. I cannot emphasize how much of a nuisance you are to us and to our neighbours! Maybe I should ring your Mummy and Daddy up so they can re-educate you and hopefully kick some discipline into your fat ass</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;color:#222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-66196422519911565032012-02-27T21:51:00.002-08:002012-02-27T21:59:20.581-08:00A De-Caffeinated Dick!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB3-QqgrTFxnQNGDG6ZtEN7U03TMGaN7Tkbdg4kEbSvRtVt5mCK9xGwFEiHPyoEvdDAKTyIfwSL1rWrHjw-NrGlaA-tCa8SKj4BJss22IA6gBuBsJczSv4axOxoMWb-ZItCHTzqaqkPSBI/s1600/coffee.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB3-QqgrTFxnQNGDG6ZtEN7U03TMGaN7Tkbdg4kEbSvRtVt5mCK9xGwFEiHPyoEvdDAKTyIfwSL1rWrHjw-NrGlaA-tCa8SKj4BJss22IA6gBuBsJczSv4axOxoMWb-ZItCHTzqaqkPSBI/s320/coffee.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714061853823830466" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Dear Roommate, </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">So happy to see you finally bought some coffee for the house this morning, until I dumped out the box and realized all you got was DECAF! Seriously, are you f*#*@ brain dead?! Why not pick up a six pack of non alcoholic beer next time you're at it, dick. </span></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-14530235636545971102012-02-27T19:18:00.004-08:002012-02-27T19:23:42.026-08:00DICK-ERINE<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNPNQIJmUsce1Nlv8VaKxXCE2k4-UHSkO6qSL5JZihjP5UAfIaSgAsLfWme9_PWpxyC8XgNdGpfEgX74RMTqKQrVse9EKcxyLurW-2fIEsEdhAMjmATADKIPrX6PUHep_Z7v2AixcvMzE/s1600/dickerine.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNPNQIJmUsce1Nlv8VaKxXCE2k4-UHSkO6qSL5JZihjP5UAfIaSgAsLfWme9_PWpxyC8XgNdGpfEgX74RMTqKQrVse9EKcxyLurW-2fIEsEdhAMjmATADKIPrX6PUHep_Z7v2AixcvMzE/s320/dickerine.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714020858139254610" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Dear Roommate, </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Doesn't matter how much of this shit you chug, nothing is helping that breathe. You eat Doritos all day and rinse once. Here's a tip, IT'S NOT THE SAME AS BRUSHING. Dick! </span></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2359215475302134810.post-42977097023399384322012-01-17T10:18:00.000-08:002012-01-17T10:33:56.161-08:00The Dick Cave<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3D3p4I1EcvnRu7bHtAMRwIjVtcTK5kPH5tAp1eTj7jlUBVtZjfs3PsiUb3o3k1tcDP4VK9XWmg1YVVLzjl8hGKu3PpTV3iqkpJ2QyVFH038xdWG03ZIi6AjwAP4IPHfxjOL-cvu487wV/s1600/images.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 259px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3D3p4I1EcvnRu7bHtAMRwIjVtcTK5kPH5tAp1eTj7jlUBVtZjfs3PsiUb3o3k1tcDP4VK9XWmg1YVVLzjl8hGKu3PpTV3iqkpJ2QyVFH038xdWG03ZIi6AjwAP4IPHfxjOL-cvu487wV/s320/images.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698668955870928642" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><b><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;">Dear Dick Roommate, </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div>You are the roommate from hell!<br /><br /></b></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><b>Initially I chose to overlook the disgusting state of your room, the bongs and booze mess everywhere, the complete disregard to the house, the abuse, the back stabbing, the messyness because I too am a bit messy, I too have little quirks that need ironing out but over the months I ironed them out, you did not and in fact became WORSE!! I overlooked most things because I couldnt afford to pay the rent on my own but now you have caused me to hate coming home, to be afraid to come home or even to go to bed at night. YOU ARE EVIL AND PURE POISON! You bring drugs into your house, drink copius amounts of alcohol and vomit everywhere. You will refuse to pay bills but expect the place to be immaculately clean. You happily sleep with married women and brings them home without any cause for concern in regards to what the respective husbands may do. You use your things and then treat them like crap, you're abusive, attempt to break things, threaten me, and continue to partake in ilegal activities.</b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><b>Worse than anything, you drag my boyfriend out to your "man cave" and buy his friendship by giving him weed and booze and then to add insult to injury you sit there bagging me to him to try and convince him to dump me! All i have is one thing to say to you, I work in a prison bitch so don't mess with me!</b></span></div><div></div><div></div>thekeatsstarshowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17521060163070795900noreply@blogger.com3