My room mate is an psuedo accountant bitch who thinks she is Jesus (Their supplied title)
Dear Roommate,
Thank you again for deciding that we won't pay rent month to month. Thanks for making the choice that instead of paying monthly you will pay the first 2 months ahead of time and just fucking let me pay two entire months rent by myself. Because lets face it, a 21 year old male loves to fucking stare at money in his account he can't touch because you're too fucking stupid to budget it yourself.
I really appreciate that. Hey also, you know how you and your boyfriend are long distance for the last year and you think that makes you fucking Zeus? Well fuck off, your long distance because no one can fucking stand you more then 2 days. How do I know? Ever notice how when he comes down he fucking stops talking to you Sunday afternoon and comesto kick it with me? Its not my Xbox 360 you bitch, its just that hehates you.
Remember those little fucking flower lights you put over MY entertainment stand that houses MY HDTV, MY Xbox 360, MY media PC, MY wii, MY stereo? Ya well get this: There only fucking lights if your dumb ass plugs them in, if you don't.. guess what! THERE JUST FUCKING GAY. You think I drink too much beer? You try living with you, seewhat the fuck you drink. I use to fucking drink once a week, now I drink 3 times a god damn day to prevent myself from throwing your goddamn dog out the window.
Oh that reminds me, ever heard of dogtraining? I know you fucking never did it, the god damn dog breed house breaks it self. Don't fucking believe me? Check Wikipedia you cunt. You think its cute how it won't bark, it just whines really loud. I think its the fucking worst noise ever created, next to your stupid arrogant bitch voice. You know that doggy door you made ME install because you fucking couldn't understand weather stripping and silicon seal? Guess what, it fucking blows. It just makes it about 400 times easier to fucking rob us. Now, not only does our slidingglass door lock NOT FUCKING WORK, there is a god damn 14 inch by 8inch HOLE they can fucking reach in through. That little plastic cover does SHIT to stop it. I FUCKING SHOWED YOU. So your idea was to use a wood shelf to wedge the god damn door close was it? Good idea, EXCEPT for the fucking HOLE in the DOOR because of YOUR DOG.
Remember that one time you sent me the wrong text bitching about how I always short you for money? Maybe I should start splitting the rent so that you actually pay more then half. You do fucking live in the master room. Why did you need to live there again?? You have more clothes? I've only ever see you wear the same fucking 8 shirts and 5 pants. What the FUCK is the rest for?! And by the way, giving you 80$ for a bill that's 81.23$ isn't shorting you.It would be shorting you if you fucking accepted visa and I could charge that much. But you don't, you want cash. Who the fuck carries 1.23$ in there pocket?! NO ONE. Take the fucking 80$ and let me buy you a god damn double cheese burger in exchange. Jesus fuck. You cheap cunt.
Last thing, you know those two stupid ass water jugs you ALWAYS keep in the fridge? THERE NOT YOURS. We fill them back up with the water from the fountain. THE WATER WE PAY FOR. So you have two jugs, ONE OF THEM SHOULD BE MINE. So if I fucking want to drink OUT OF IT because refilling the TINY ass cups you keep is a HUGE fucking annoyance, then you can go to hell.
Sincerely,
The guy who drinks "All the time" and always "shorts you on bills", Fucking Mad as Hell at the Bitch in OV.
P.S. I fucking moved in with a girl because they were suppose to be cleaner and calmer. What the fuck happened to you? And if you callme a woman infront of anyone ever again, I will fucking kill that bitchy ass dog of yours.
15 comments:
Sounds like poster might be the problem. Dick.
There's only one way to fix this and that is to burn down the house. Let the ashes fall where they may.
Dude, get some therapy and calm the fuck down. Stop drinking and start smoking pot, at least you'll be in a better mood.
I guess "My Roomate is Such a Dick" doesn't specify that the one posting has to be the victim.
And if she thinks she's Jesus you must think you're God.
haha sweet
I love your passion. Thank you for posting a REAL rant. This is what they all should be like.
PS. please send me your address and a map to all your valuables. thanks.
I'd sympathize with you, except I can't stand people who can't tell the difference between your/you're and there/they're/their. Jesus, where'd you go to school?
5 pairs of pants? She sure has me beat!
jrock you speaking mad truth.
hmm ... the boyfriend probably doesn't like you more than his gf ... He probably wants to check out your gadgets while he's in town. duhhhh
this dick needs to take some English classes
Your my hero man.
unforgivable
I don't understand what the problem is with the rent, what's wrong with paying two months ahead? And how did she "make" you install the dog door?
That sucks. Just don't take it out on the dog. Dogs just want attention from their owners. They'd rather have it be good attention but if they can't get that they'll do shit to piss you off just to get bad attention. Anything the dog does is the fault of the bitch who won't pay attention to it and not the dog. So anything you want to take out on the dog you should be taking out on your roommate, find someone who actually has the time to care for a dog and see if they'll take it.
Technically what you have going now is more of a budget than paying w/e is due right away.
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