Dear creepy 50 year-old roommate,
I'm not your mommy. Stop telling me that you like it when I wear skirts and wear my hair a certain way, both like your dead mother did. Lots of women wear skirts and yes, I need a new haircut asap, but I'm not your mommy, you creep. And no, my food is not disgusting because it's not like your dead mother's. You're just a creep.
Get a therapist,
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 12:57 PM
Friday, July 25, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Dear (soon to be) Ex-Roommate,
There's a certain amount of laziness that I can deal with. Dishes in the sink… fine. Forgetting to replace the toilet paper… it happens. Even leaving your moldy food in the fridge… it was pushed all the way in the back. But what I cannot and will not stand for is the complete lack of consideration for others as well as the blatant disregard for what is known as common human decency! Who does this?!!! If I had to choose something to sum up our entire relationship as friends and roommates, it would have to be this photograph. You knew it was wrong yet you continued to tear and tear even though you could have gone back at any moment to remedy the situation. Good luck in your new apartment and your new life. Just know that I won't be there to straighten out your messes any longer.
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 12:26 PM
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 12:15 PM
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 6:34 PM
The two of you have turned into the utterly lazy drunks since your wedding October 2012. Which is when you also stopped living like roommates and started living like two dirty hamsters in a cage and when approached about the situation you ignored your other roommates requests about cleaning up after yourselves. We got sick of cleaning up after you, and caring for you like children. So this is what has become of your living area in the upstairs portion of the house we share. I hope your happy with your selves. Oh and we recently found out that your sleeping in separate rooms, I guess divorce is in the future? Congrats!
Your (soon to be ex) roommates
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 6:24 PM
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Posted by hi at 9:50 AM
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 9:51 PM
Monday, August 9, 2010
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 11:44 PM
Monday, August 2, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I used to be an atheist but since meeting you I have been forced to believe in
God because you are the fuc*ing devil. In the unfortunate year I have lived with
your ass, you have threatened to kill me, threatened to burn down our house,
threatened to steal all of my shit (a lot of which you have stolen), threatened
to sleep with my boyfriend and threatened to move out (at LEAST 6 times.)
Important here is the word "threatened" because your bitch ass would never do
any of these things; especially the last, because even though your parents pay
your rent (because you are unemployed and have failed out of two colleges) your own parents have refused to let you move back in with them. They'd rather pay to keep you away.
By the way, I've been lying about how much our rent is every month. Figured your mom and dad could spare the extra $50. The way I see it, it covers all of the cleaning I have to do to make this house bearable. The smell that comes from your room has actually made me throw up. Twice.
Exhibit A: Our bathroom sink, the day after I cleaned the bathroom.
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 5:02 PM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Dear Singing Dick Roommate,
NO ONE wants to hear you sing! You are an emo piece of sh*t. Your "lyrics" are lame and confirm what a fuc*ing loser you are. Get a life and grow some balls.
Your Roommate who is plotting your rapidly approaching death.
Posted by thekeatsstarshow at 11:50 AM