Monday, August 2, 2010

This Dick Needs A Kennel

Dear Roommate,

I was cool when you and your boyfriend decided to get the first dog. In fact, I actually liked him. I was even kinda o.k. with you getting the second one. But then you started putting pee-pads on the floor in the dining room, "just in case" you couldn't let them out in time. After that, you just turned into a lazy piece of shit! I love coming home for lunch, only to find trash torn up on the floor, and dog shit that you have left there since last night. Whatever, I just started staying in my room more often.
Then one day, I come home to find that you have decided to use MY bathroom as a damn dog kennel. Thank you so much. When I opened the door to take a shower, I almost puked in my mouth from the stench of dog shit smeared all over the blanket you left in there for them. So, since I'm in a hurry, I just decided to drag the blanket out in the hall so I could take a shower. While I was in the shower, you came home and saw that I put the blanket in the hallway. When I got out of the shower, you had the nerve to bitch at ME for not cleaning up the shit!!!!!! @#$% you! You're a stupid bitch! I know that you went through my jewelry. I know that you went through my trash. And I also know how many times you've had sex on my couch. I also recall cleaning the apartment every weekend, while you leave your blood stained panties on the living room floor.
I was willing to over look most things, but I'll be damned if someone is going to use my bathroom as a kennel. I'm even gonna post a picture. You're such a skank, I can't believe you even have a boyfriend, cause you're such a dirty bitch! You better thank GOD that we're all in the military, cause that's the only thing that kept me from beating the living shit out of you (I'm not a big fan of Article 15's).
Love,
The girl that's not a dirty bitch...
P.S. I'm the one that let your dogs chew up your debit card, and your fancy cloth napkins, and your gym shoes, and your favorite bra, and your orange nightie :) You're welcome.


AMANDA S.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site myroommateisadick.blogspot.com
Is this possible?

Anonymous said...

are you sure we dont have the same funkie roomate and have the nerves to have a dog while you are eating all of sudden you smell dog shit. What?

Anonymous said...

I had almost the same issue. She left him locked up in a cage for four days straight with no food and living in his shit and piss barking 24/7, so I let him out into her room and he tore the place up.

Anonymous said...

Lessen your foodbills and eat the dog shit. I already heard you fucked it anyway.

 
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