If I have to hear about how NO ONE loves you one more f*cking time and how f*cking fat you are I will puke in your OCD cleaned room. If I have to hear how you only "ate 3 grapes yesterday and a piece of cheese and then you drank 5 and 1.3 beers and went home with Frankenstein (but you, of course, didn't have sex with them -- you f*cking tease) I'll go insane.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Posted by hi at 4:24 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Posted by hi at 7:56 PM
I can tell you like to sleep, I mean, you do it nearly all day instead of going to class. Funny thing is, I also like to sleep. So when you set your alarm to wake you up at 7 am, please wake up at 7 am. Instead of having me wake up, tell you to turn off your alarm only for you to hit the SNOOZE so I can do the same thing every FIVE MINUTES until it's 9am - when I actually have to be up.
Posted by hi at 7:53 PM
You don't even f*cking live here yet you still manage to cause more damage then anyone who pays rent here. Thanks for mysteriously breaking the toilet and eating all of our food and passing out in the middle of the living room. Oh...wait...what's that? OF COURSE you can crash on our couch for the next week for free. We have plenty of shit left for you to break buddy.
Posted by hi at 7:52 PM
Posted by hi at 1:22 PM
Hey you you furry piece of dick. You vomit on the floor, refuse to clean up after yourself, complain incessantly about the lack of food, but never go get anyone to cut your toenails. I can actually hear them clicking on the floor. You think grooming is a group event and to top it off you lick your ass in front of company. Seriously stop being such a dick
ps - I'm so glad I chopped off your balls when I had the chance
Posted by hi at 1:17 PM
Monday, September 24, 2007
I remember a time, not more than six months ago, when you still showered, brushed your teeth and did an occasional load of laundry. Those were the days, huh?
Well now that reeking pile of filth outside of your room is beginning to attract flies, and your breath consistently smells of a strange combination of sour milk and rotting vagina. Not to mention the dishes that I bought that YOU use that YOU refuse to clean.
By the way, that giant pile of beer cans outside your room is sitting on top of a huge dark brown stain, which I assume is because you put 200 half empty beer cans on top of it, and you might want to know the owner of the pussy you've been sucking that she has a serious problem. Brush your goddamn teeth and get your smelly ass out!
The owner of the sword you're f$%*ing.
P.S. I'm gonna pop your air mattress with it.
Posted by hi at 7:21 PM
Remember how you NEVER SHUT THE GODDAMN DOOR even in the winter when it’s -5 outside and we have oil heat for f$%*’s sake. And remember how your asshole hookup walked in on me in the shower and then didn’t even f$%*ing apologize? NO? Well for an animal lover you sure dropped my poor pet rabbit on the floor every f$%*ing night you got drunk. And by the way, it’s not unreasonable to ask you to pay your share of the bill within two months of receiving it! And no, I wasn’t f$%*ing every guy that walked through our door – I just can have a male friend without F$%*ING HIM!!!
Posted by hi at 5:39 PM
Dear Dick Roommate Web site,
I had a guy I used to work with call me up at work one night and ask me for a favor. He drove his car through a huge puddle and it flooded out and stalled. He needed me to come pick him up from work, and a place to stay that night. He ended up staying with me for a month and a half. He had said his house had gotten broken into, and he didn't want to go back and was trying to find a new place. I got stuck supporting him for a month. To make it worse, I had things start to come up missing, and nobody else was ever in the house. I had a bucket of change that had 400 dollars in it, and he stuffed the bottom with paper towels and threw what change was left on top of it to make it look full. He stole my checkbook and forged a check to the liquor store. He kept coming up with lies to weasel his way into staying with me longer until i finally couldn't take it anymore and booted him out. My roommate was a dick and a cunt. He was a dunt!
Posted by hi at 4:15 PM
Posted by hi at 1:57 PM
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Posted by hi at 7:33 PM