Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A DRUNKEN DICK

Dear Roommate, 

Thanks for being such a douche. I really appreciate how you lick & suck your dirty silverware "clean" before throwing it back in our drawer without washing it. Your tongue isn't a dishwasher, you filthy f*ck! I love how you snatch our TV remote away from my side while I'm in the middle of watching a fuc*ing movie, dick. You "wanna see if somethin' else is on"??? What the fu*k did you think I was doing? Admiring the wall behind it? Get your gay DVDs off the TV, stop walking your fat ass around the house with no shirt on & your ass crack showing. Stop thinking I stole your cheap fuc*ing wine, douche. You just drink that red cuntwater until you pass out & forget where you left the bottle. Do you honestly think Bonnie won't fu*k you because she's gotta bf? SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR FAT ASS!!!! Stop putting dirty dishes back in the cabinet, lard ass. "Can't tell that they're dirty" ? Fucking look at them!!! There's spots and food all over them!! What the fuck is wrong with you? I truly hope you enjoy brushing your teeth every night & morning with my cum & piss, fucktard. 

P.S: Recipe for roommate vengeance
 
STEP 1: Piss on toothbrush, squeeze dry with toilet paper so he won't notice a wet brush.
STEP 2: Cum in a cup & pour into the toothpaste container, put cap back on. Squeeze and squish container until the paste & cum become homogenous. 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now see, that solves nothing.

Anonymous said...

He didn't do it for revenge, it just gets him off

Anonymous said...

wow - that is grosser than what you accuse your roommate of. you are a dick, too

Anonymous said...

Ooooga, I want to live with this guy!

Cum in toothpaste, that's so fabulous!

Ooga!

-Ibod Catooga

P said...

La vida es esto. Prestémosle atención a los
detalles. Al calorcito humeante del pis, a sacar la basura, a viajar apretados
en colectivo. Si no disfrutamos eso, ¿qué nos queda?

Anonymous said...

That motherfucker would lick a dish clean and put it back in the cabinet one time and I would shit in his bed. These other twinks are saying what you did solves nothing. Well you should do it all and more. You need to stab that nasty fuck with his licked-clean fork. I thought I had it bad.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like your old roommate is my current one. You had me right up until the tooth brush/paste

Anonymous said...

Sounds familiar to my situation... I can't wait until I'm done with college.

Anonymous said...

HAHA nice.

Snatch said...

Getting revenge on your slob roommate is all good, but it's a little self-defeating if your revenge is pissing on his toothbrush...which he brushes his mouth with...which he uses to clean YOUR silverware.

Anonymous said...

Yoooooooooooo That is DIRTY!!!! Funny but dirty as sht!!!!

Anonymous said...

omg I can't breathe lool I'd totally shit in his bed. Ah the joys of having a roommate.

 
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