Monday, November 19, 2007

Payback is a Bitch

Dear Roommate,

Having that first girlfriend is a rememberable event in one's life. Especially if that first girlfriend let's you f*ck her on the first date. I'm happy for you. Truly. But f*cking her like clockwork at 6:45 AM every f*cking day, including Saturdays and Sundays for the past 3 f*cking weeks when I'm in the f*cking room is a bit f*cking ridiculous. Could you at least wait until I take a shower? Or put a gag over her f$cking mouth so I don't wake up. Hopefully you've been inspecting those condoms a little closer lately! I'm guessing you'll start to cut down once she starts "showing." HAHA...suck it bitch!

83 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're an asshole.

Anonymous said...

He wakes you up with sex so you're going to make him accidentally impregnate his new girl friend. Truly you are the dick sir.

Anonymous said...

wow, you sort of need to go to hell, asshole.

Anonymous said...

yeah, you're the dick.

Anonymous said...

Ummmmmm, he is a big dick, but you are a bigger dick. 3 or 4 times the size. Thats a pretty big dick. Asshole.

Anonymous said...

Gud one dude. Class A dick.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. He interrupts your beauty sleep so let's get his girlfriend preggers. Deush. Just ask him to fuck at her place or something.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I hope this leads to roommate's first abortion too.

You are such a DICK!

Anonymous said...

I think I'd notice that hole, specially since you are stringing floss through it...moron!

Anonymous said...

First abortion is right. But hey if she's cool enough to fuck every morning it shouldn't be a problem, right?

Both guys in this situation sound like dicks.

Anonymous said...

A real man would say something to him. A cowardly dick pokes holes in condoms. You = Dick.

Anonymous said...

He is fucking in the same room as him, that gets fucking annoying. Plus he shouldn't have to say anything because that kind of behavior is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Either talk to your roommate or buy some earplugs, asshole. You're a worse dick than nearly every other roommate on this blog.

Anonymous said...

just tell him he's a dick. it doesn't seem like his entire future should be jeopardized for this. sure it's annoying, but at least he's getting some. anyways, you've infinitely overshadowed his dick-ness after your "revenge".

Anonymous said...

That just might be the most fucked up thing Ive seen on here...

What an asshole. You should have to pay child support if she gets preggers.

Crossin a line buddy.

Anonymous said...

Dude,
Seriously, that is quite honestly the most Dick move I have ever seen. I mean seriously, what the fuck. The only way I could see you not being the ultimate dick in this situation is if they were fucking ON you every morning. And I mean literally, you wake up to back on top of your face at 6:45 every morning, moaning and sweaty.I am just fucking shocked, Douchebag.

Kal Thrace said...

you are an asshole.
man up and just talk to him, chump.

Anonymous said...

that's way over the top dude. I had a roommate like that once, but seriously...that's over the line what you did

Dick said...

Haha, I love how everyone is being a pussy about it! Man up guys, it's going to happen anyway. Plus, it'll teach his roomy not to fuk with him. The poster is not a dick...he's just karma...

Anonymous said...

ANNNNND i'm boycotting this website for even posting this.

Anonymous said...

The poster is a total dick, dude, that is not even cool to poke holes in his condoms. Seriously, I would sit back with a beer and popcorn and enjoy the show, and make a big point about the beer and popcorn, that'll embarrass them both to the point you'll never have to worry about them having sex in the same room again(unless they are the type that gets off when people watch)

Anonymous said...

I'm having a hard time believing half of the shit that's posted at this website anymore.

Anonymous said...

set up a video cam, tape the sessions and then sell them for 14.95 on this site. You'd make your rent money and then some.

Anonymous said...

I nominate the Poster for Dick of the Month, the prize is a flogging, because he's a fucktard who needs to have some sense beat into him.

Anonymous said...

yeah, fyi, poking holes in someones condoms is illegal. something about exposing people to hazardous fluids. could contain aids or other stds

Anonymous said...

Guess what.
Your all chumps, its likely a joke,
and anyways, abortion methods are safe, easy and inexpensive. Stop bellyaching over some malformed, imoral vengance. We're all human here, and whats more human than acting contrary to whats right...

Anonymous said...

"abortion methods are safe, easy and inexpensive"

Obviously it's not your uterus getting scrapped.

Anonymous said...

Oh the controversy!

Anonymous said...

.....:-(

Anonymous said...

i second the nomination for the poster to be awarded dick of the year.

Anonymous said...

abortions may be safe and nonhazardous, but do you realize the mental strain and anguish that comes with having to decide to have one? thousands of soldiers come home safe and unharmed, but they're heads are still messed up for life because of it. This guy is the real dick because of what he does.

Anonymous said...

You have serious mental problems. DICK!

Anonymous said...

actually abortions are not safe and quite often can lead to the mother being infertile, but yeah, your right, we are all bellyaching...

Anonymous said...

There is a line and you crossed it...you are clearly a dickless piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

My point was not meant to be taken as "abortion is correct or incorrect" but rather that your all chumps and moralist fools for making a simple internet joke into a debate on abortion. Although decidedly, I am now a part of the controversy, and my methods are uneccessarily crude, but so is "having my uterus 'scrapped'(?)"

Anonymous said...

believe i'd beat the shit out of the poster

Anonymous said...

Yup pretty fucked up man... It should be you that has to pay for child support.

Anonymous said...

So they're both dicks, get over it! And if they're getting serious enough to be having sex every morning and presumably spending every night together too, they're probably monogamous and could be getting a more reliable form of birth control anyway. But you shouldn't HAVE to tell your roommate not to fuck loud when you're in the room. It's a dick move.

happy said...

its funny how a little joke and a little hole turned into this epic 'debate'.

adultery->annoyed+jealousy->hole in condoms->pregnancy->abortion->death->eternal guilt->suicide->eternal hell

Anonymous said...

How is that fair to the girl? Get yourself a fucking room, dick.

Anonymous said...

i did this to a roommate once, then i realized i was being the asshole and replaced the condoms. just cause the dude's making you mad why should the girl have to deal with all the risks?

Anonymous said...

I can understand the frustration of the poster, though poking a pinhole in a condom is funny on paper and not in reality. I would have instead done something obnoxious, like prepare a tray with warm wash cloths and a bottle of hand sanitizer, then I would stand off to the side with polite comments of, "When ever you are ready, sir. It's no hurry, take your time. I will wait. Good job! You are such a big boy!" After a few times of that, they will probably find a more secluded area for their like clockwork scheduled playdates.

Anonymous said...

being an asshole is a hobby of mine and i give you a thumbs up on that one maybe even a pat on the back

Gebba said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

how is that even effective? He's just gonna keep on having sex with her until she gets pregnant, which would be months from now. Just be a man and say something! That way he won't do it TONIGHT instead of NEXT MONTH.

Anonymous said...

wow. poster you are the biggest piece of shit i have ever heard of. that is such a dick move. you deserve to have the shit beat out of you.

Anonymous said...

so has this site turned belly up? I guess since this dick is unbeatable, no more posts. sad.

Anonymous said...

good move man, that fucker has no respect.

Anonymous said...

good move man, that fucker has no respect.

Anonymous said...

Dude, that's fxckd up.

Anonymous said...

he'll be the next dick roommate in the news gettin beat to death, just wait.

Anonymous said...

Your a bigger dick to bring want to bring a innocent child into this world as payback. grow the fuck up and move out

Anonymous said...

woooooo lets just all have sex with the girl and fight over parenthood

Anonymous said...

lol u guise. no need to get worked up over this troll. he's just making up stories.

Anonymous said...

"Dude, that's fxckd up."

November 29, 2007 8:25 PM


you clever person. marry me.

Joe said...

You are the ass here, sorry but you are. When they wake you up
grab a chair and a drink and a camera sit RIGHT next to them and take pictures then post those here. Don't poke holes in condoms, that is just too petty.

Anonymous said...

You are my new hero.

Anonymous said...

Oh come on...when I first read this I laughed my ass off.

Anonymous said...

Unless this is made up, you should burn for that one. That's something that is totally uncalled for. Karma's a bitch you asshole.

Anonymous said...

You don't think a crying baby's going to wake you up? Cuz ya know the three of them'll be hanging out with you.

Anonymous said...

Wow. You are coward AND a fucking asshole. That girl doesn't deserve to have her life completely fucked because you don't have the microscopic balls it would require to tell them to fuck somewhere else. Dick.

So Glad I Graduated said...

I totally agree with the beer and popcorn. It's going to happen and it sounds like you aren't getting any so sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Great idea from an anonymous poster to tape it. :) Should be really easy to save up enough to get your own room. happy viewing!

Anonymous said...

This guy needs to be murdered.

Anonymous said...

What a GREAT idea to get a woman pregnant to get back at your inconsiderate roommate! Abortions cost between $400 and $2200, asshole, so unless you're willing to dish out the money you better suck it up.

sash said...

Wow, thats seriously fucked up. How about opening your mouth and confronting him rather than dragging a baby into it. :S

Anonymous said...

why the fuck would you try to ruin to pepoles lifes of that douche bag if it bothed you that much and you were too wimpy too say nothing then just crawl out of that nastly ass hole you must live in and move out or at least get a girl u nasty DICK

Anonymous said...

ahaha

Anonymous said...

Mann... you're a dick... I mean DUDE! Just ask him to fuck at her place or on the street!

Anonymous said...

ahahhahahah !! hahahahahah! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.


Why are you fuckers getting so uptight about it. You don't know them. And it's pretty damn funny.

shit. hahahaha

Anonymous said...

That's not cool. In fact, that's criminal. You should be locked away for life dude. Anger management, get laid yourself, smoke some crack, whatever, but that's fucked up.

Anonymous said...

wow, so I guess it would have killed u to just talk to the guy, hu. sounds like ur the dick. asshole.

sarahann said...

now that, is fucked up!

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Anonymous said...

so he makes you temporarily uncomfortable and you could potentially ruin his life forever. seems fair. you are truly a douche bag.

Anonymous said...

you know if one of them turned out to have HIV you could go to prison for manslaughter

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to confronting the dick and telling him to take his skank elsewhere to fuck? DICK.

Anonymous said...

Not even a little cool, dick. Just cuz you can't get laid is no reason to fuck up someone's life.

lionwar922 said...

Not okay. not okay at all

lionwar922 said...

Not okay. That's going way too far.

Anonymous said...

lol cut down on the dirty ass fuckin' with some abortion in da hauze

Anonymous said...

I'd do that too. The nasty whore deserves it for having sex before marriage.

 
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