Monday, December 10, 2007

A Dealing Dick

Dear Roommate,

Thanks for starting to deal drugs again. I really love tons of strangers and old dudes coming into our house at all hours, especially since you can't hear them pounding on the door and I constantly have to get it. 


Also, thanks for just being a douchebag in general by throwing raw meat in our garbage which makes our whole house smell like ass and NEVER taking it out!!! And thanks for being a sexist dickwad and just f*ck Saadia already, the sexual tension between you two is starting to make me sick. The secret is wait until she has 4 beers, she'll open up for anyone.

p.s. Enjoy your lonely weekend bottle of jack daniels, fat ass!

15 comments:

kristyna said...

All I can say is WOW!! That's a winner right there.

Anonymous said...

At least he can pay his bills..

Anonymous said...

You'd better kick that bitch out because if he gets busted in the house then you go down with him.

John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Is that coke?

Anonymous said...

Turn him in for a reward. Ya get rid of him AND you get cash. It's a win-win situation... except for your roommate... lol.

happylard said...

see you in COPS

Anonymous said...

Someone is gonna get gang raped... fun times in the cocain den.

Anonymous said...

Um if that's coke... wow.

jeremy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jeremy said...

OK, if that is coke you are both going to prison for a long time, but by the looks of your couch and nice little ensemble of flowers you have going on in your living room you guys may not have much of an issue with bunch of convicts gang rapping you in the showers. Looks like 2 homos live in that place.

Dylan K said...

your roomie is the worst dealer ever if he leaves his coke in a place that you can find it and take pictures

A.M. said...

I'm going to hazard a guess here. You live at your mom's house. You took a picure of yourself holding a bag of sugar.

"What are you holding that bag of sugar for?" said your mom

"Nothin'. School project," you said.

"Oh," she said. "Could you straighten that duvet cover behind you? And fix those flowers?"

"Moooooom," you said.

"Jason, I'm going to count to three."

"Oooookay. Fine. Just let me finish my...creative writing project. About this one guy. He's a drug dealer and he leaves bags of coke lying around."

"You always were the creative one in the family, Jason. My special little boy."

Anonymous said...

That is called speed, a pasty like substance witch goes down in the viens very well and in my experince tweekers will rob you but even worse will be psycotially angrey sometimes witch is realy scarey, till you relaise they have absolutely no muscle and when a dirty needle comes to wards you it is very easy to doge and then beat. not a nice drug to liv with.

Anonymous said...

pro tip:

Stop letting people into your house!

 
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