Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Don't Shit Where You Brush

Dear Dick Of A Roommate,

I just wanted to send you a quick thank you note for being such a great roommate. You drinking in our dorm cluster until 3 AM on a Wednesday did such wonders for my grades. And when you left me that voicemail of "eat shit and die, faggot", you raised a good point. I probably am a faggot seeing I don't f$ck any trash that roams into my field of vision like you. I was a bit worried about your gorgeous girlfriend back home, but you erased my doubts again by quoting Aristotle and saying "My hotdog needs a bun". I really can't argue with that logic. I could go on about the foul-smelling weed, your loser friends eating all of my food, destroying my hat rack, and stealing the TV, but I won't. I feel as though I've praised you enough. I did leave you a "thank you" present when I left. I hope you enjoyed it.

Hugs n Kisses,Your Favorite Roommate

PS - Enjoy your toothbrush


Anonymous said...

Dude, I hope you put the toothbrush back where it belongs and sent that photo to the dick a couple weeks after you moved out.

Anonymous said...

"My hotdog needs a bun"? Who says that shit?

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha, fucking hilarious!!!!

Anonymous said...

Your roommate sounds better than you, he smokes weed and gets pussy. Maybe you should try to be more like him.

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