Dear Roommate,
Thanks for being such a douche. I really appreciate how you lick & suck your dirty silverware "clean" before throwing it back in our drawer without washing it. Your tongue isn't a dishwasher, you filthy f*ck! I love how you snatch our TV remote away from my side while I'm in the middle of watching a fuc*ing movie, dick. You "wanna see if somethin' else is on"??? What the fu*k did you think I was doing? Admiring the wall behind it? Get your gay DVDs off the TV, stop walking your fat ass around the house with no shirt on & your ass crack showing. Stop thinking I stole your cheap fuc*ing wine, douche. You just drink that red cuntwater until you pass out & forget where you left the bottle. Do you honestly think Bonnie won't fu*k you because she's gotta bf? SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR FAT ASS!!!! Stop putting dirty dishes back in the cabinet, lard ass. "Can't tell that they're dirty" ? Fucking look at them!!! There's spots and food all over them!! What the fuck is wrong with you? I truly hope you enjoy brushing your teeth every night & morning with my cum & piss, fucktard.
P.S: Recipe for roommate vengeance
STEP 1: Piss on toothbrush, squeeze dry with toilet paper so he won't notice a wet brush.
STEP 2: Cum in a cup & pour into the toothpaste container, put cap back on. Squeeze and squish container until the paste & cum become homogenous.
