Better than a Golden Shower

Dear Roommate,

Remember that time we celebrated my promotion - and the next day I asked you what happened to my bottle of Dom... and you said we drank it while partying? Guess what... I found this photo. You're a dick and you owe me a new bottle!

This is not a Barbershop Part II

Dear Roommate,

Are you too blind to notice the mess you make after you "trim" your beard? It's pretty obvious. I mean, the hair is RED for christ's sake! If I have to pick another RED hair out of my toothbrush, I'll kill you. There's a drain in the middle of your facial litter - wash it down!

Bed, Bath and a Dick

Dear Roommate,

Are you kidding me? Are you serious? Do you really need two electric toothbrushes? And wtf is Carb Intercept anyway? We "share" a bathroom. Put your crap in a drawer.

This is not a barbershop

Dear Roommate,

My girlfriend really loves going into the bathroom in the morning and seeing your pubes freshly shaved in the toilet. I do not... Learn to flush or grow it out.

Best,

Is anyone looking for a new roommate? Comment below...Please.