Revenge of the Roommate II

Payback is a Bitch

Dear Roommate,

Having that first girlfriend is a rememberable event in one's life. Especially if that first girlfriend let's you f*ck her on the first date. I'm happy for you. Truly. But f*cking her like clockwork at 6:45 AM every f*cking day, including Saturdays and Sundays for the past 3 f*cking weeks when I'm in the f*cking room is a bit f*cking ridiculous. Could you at least wait until I take a shower? Or put a gag over her f$cking mouth so I don't wake up. Hopefully you've been inspecting those condoms a little closer lately! I'm guessing you'll start to cut down once she starts "showing." HAHA...suck it bitch!

Spray On Dick

Dear Roommate,

Just wanted to say THANKS! I really enjoyed coming back into town to find cigarette butts in my room, things in my bathroom broken, half of my food eaten, and let’s not forget the new Spraypaint theme on our walls. Cool man…cool.