DICK OF THE WEEK!!! Jizz Rags Off the Carpet

Dear Roommate,

You're such a disgusting slob who refuses to wash your clothes. Rather than picking up your dirty laundry off the floor, you buy new clothes. You've done this through an entire school year, but the kicker was when you had to clean it all up for move-out day....By the time you got down to the carpet, you were ripping your dirty panties and jiz rags off the carpet. Lots of them. As in, after months of being compacted into the floor they had stuck to it. Needless to say, by the time you were through, the carpet was ruined. The icing on the cake was when you called over the summer to say that the school had sent a bill to replace the carpet and YOU wanted me to pay half. What a dick!