Dear Roommate,
Thanks for being such a douche. I really appreciate how you lick & suck your dirty silverware "clean" before throwing it back in our drawer without washing it. Your tongue isn't a dishwasher, you filthy f*ck! I love how you snatch our TV remote away from my side while I'm in the middle of watching a fuc*ing movie, dick. You "wanna see if somethin' else is on"??? What the fu*k did you think I was doing? Admiring the wall behind it? Get your gay DVDs off the TV, stop walking your fat ass around the house with no shirt on & your ass crack showing. Stop thinking I stole your cheap fuc*ing wine, douche. You just drink that red cuntwater until you pass out & forget where you left the bottle. Do you honestly think Bonnie won't fu*k you because she's gotta bf? SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR FAT ASS!!!! Stop putting dirty dishes back in the cabinet, lard ass. "Can't tell that they're dirty" ? Fucking look at them!!! There's spots and food all over them!! What the fuck is wrong with you? I truly hope you enjoy brushing your teeth every night & morning with my cum & piss, fucktard.
P.S: Recipe for roommate vengeance
STEP 1: Piss on toothbrush, squeeze dry with toilet paper so he won't notice a wet brush.
STEP 2: Cum in a cup & pour into the toothpaste container, put cap back on. Squeeze and squish container until the paste & cum become homogenous.
10 comments:
Now see, that solves nothing.
He didn't do it for revenge, it just gets him off
Ooooga, I want to live with this guy!
Cum in toothpaste, that's so fabulous!
Ooga!
-Ibod Catooga
La vida es esto. Prestémosle atención a los
detalles. Al calorcito humeante del pis, a sacar la basura, a viajar apretados
en colectivo. Si no disfrutamos eso, ¿qué nos queda?
It sounds like your old roommate is my current one. You had me right up until the tooth brush/paste
Sounds familiar to my situation... I can't wait until I'm done with college.
HAHA nice.
Getting revenge on your slob roommate is all good, but it's a little self-defeating if your revenge is pissing on his toothbrush...which he brushes his mouth with...which he uses to clean YOUR silverware.
omg I can't breathe lool I'd totally shit in his bed. Ah the joys of having a roommate.
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