A Dick-Poster

Dear Dick Roomate,

(Thank God you aren't actually a ROOMmate... I'd rather live in the streets than sharing a ROOM with you!)

You hacked into my boyfriend's computer while we were away and when found out, instead of saying "Sorry", you said, "If I didn't guess your password in the first time round, I wouldn't have continued to use it! I was just using your computer to scan and print some pictures!" Hello??? Did anyone say you were allowed to "borrow" his computer and his printer when you wanted it? And you certainly did NOT just use the scanner and printer but were browsing his Facebook messages, using Spotify and your own Facebook. And you're shocked how we found out? If only you had a brain to remember to at least log yourself off Facebook after using others' computers (and we're not asking you to delete the browsing history!!). And you still do all this after you've got it so full of viruses that every single programme decided not to function!

Attached is a beautiful picture of your Highness, NOT (!!!!!) Ha, it makes me want to puke each time I receive a letter from the Chocolate Club addressed to "Lady (your surname)" Seriously, who do you think you are!?

Stop being such an ass and keep your hands off our things!! But you MAY keep the makeup that you've stolen from MY drawer, you lowly thuggish creature. I cannot emphasize how much of a nuisance you are to us and to our neighbours! Maybe I should ring your Mummy and Daddy up so they can re-educate you and hopefully kick some discipline into your fat ass